The White Queen (2013) short review

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Can we talk — about how bad the costumes and hair are? This is an adaptation of some of Philippa Gregory’s books, and I’m sure they are just the most historically accurate things out there (I got halfway through the first book and then, as usual, got irritated with Gregory’s writing and lack of historical knowledge).  And yes, it’s yet another “We’re not trying to be slavishly historically accurate!” in terms of design/costumes/whatnot.  Fine.  Yawn.

First, let’s look at a few images of some of our key female characters:

Elizabeth Woodville

Anne Neville

Margaret of Anjou

Now, let’s talk about the series costumes and hair: Many of the female characterswear elaborate braids that look like they’ve been slept in for three weeks. Sadly I can’t find a good picture — this is the closest — but they’re frizzy with hair sticking out everywhere. Huh?

Anne Neville— also Elizabeth Woodville does this too.

Jacquetta (Elizabeth Woodville’s mom) has some pretty cool hair though!

Jacquetta

Some of the dresses are reasonably pretty and elegant, like this one on Elizabeth Woodville (who is a dead ringer for a young Trinny of the British “What Not to Wear”):

Elizabeth Woodville aka Trinny

But then Elizabeth Woodville will spend multiple episodes in something really boring like this:

Okay yes, you’re showing her in her relaxed clothes, but still — YAWN. Isabelle Neville’s wardrobe was clearly raided from some high school theater department, and Anne’s isn’t much better.

Isabelle (left) and Anne (right)

Margaret Beaufort wears a lot of simple, high necked clothes — okay, makes sense for someone who is really pious. But they’re all suspiciously Star Trek in their cut. And one of the few times she wore something with a lower neck, I swear I saw a bra strap.

Maybe she’s Borg? | (C) Company Pictures & ALL3MEDIA – Photographer: Ed Miller

And I don’t know what Margaret of Anjou is wearing here, but I know I hate it.

Oh plastic pearls, how I hate thee.