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I thought that “eggbeard” was a term of common parlance, but not only have I discovered that many Frock Flicks readers are unfamiliar with it, but I’m the only writer to use it (at least in my posts)! That means it falls on me (oh joy) to explain this term and concept. And it’s true, do a google for “eggbeard” and nothing much comes up. It’s not even in Urban Dictionary! WTFrock, kids!
So this meme probably confused y’all! That’s David Tennant in 2018’s Mary Queen of Scots — as John Knox. Okay, so the real Knox did have a long beard. That doesn’t mean I have to find it attractive!
I think I learned the term amongst my historical costumer friends, particularly those who perform at Renaissance faires. The term simply refers to a man’s beard that’s long, unkempt, and likely has bits of food stuck in it. Where did the term come from? I can’t tell you, as the only things Google turns up are a few usages as gamers’ user names and a 1930 satirical book, 1066 and All That, which mentions various egg- names for Anglo-Saxon kings, including “Eggbeard.”
All I can really do is demonstrate with visuals what I mean when I use the term “eggbeard”!
Here I made you a handy guide. In Leonardo (2021), Aidan Turner‘s beard is long and scraggy, while his two companions have nicely trimmed beards.
Often it’s the pubic-hair-ness of the eggbeard that really gives me the shudders, like on Geoffrey Rush in Pirates of the Caribbean.
Benedict Cumberbatch as Vincent Van Gogh in Painted With Words (2010). Scraggy and weedy. © BBC 2009
That must just be Cumberbatch’s (unfortunate) natural beard, because van Gogh had a perfectly lovely beard! Thick and trimmed nicely | Self-Portrait by Vincent van Gogh, 1887, Art Institute of Chicago
I have no idea how much Greta Scacchi is getting paid to flirt with that eggbeard in Burke & Wills (1985), but I hope it’s a lot.
Christopher Plummer as Tolstoy in The Last Station (2009). Yes, it’s very historically accurate. But it ruins all my Captain Von Trapp fantasies.
ALLLL the soldiers in 2019’s Hernán forgot to bring scissors when they invaded Mexico.
Now, it should be noted that I am seriously pro-facial hair! I just like it groomed! Here are some beards I have swooned over in the past:
Billy Zane is always hot, but when he’s rocking this salt & pepper beard in 2018’s Holmes & Watson? rrrrr!
The key is just not to grow it too long, as Michael Kitchen demonstrates in 1984’s Freud.
Keep it trimmed, y’all! Oscar Isaac in 2006’s The Nativity Story. Is it inappropriate to have the hots for Joseph?
… and equally fabulous when you were dressed in contemporary Edwardian gear.
Add a good beard to an actor I’m not particularly excited about, like Hans Matheson in 2016’s Jericho, and you get a great result!
I hope we’re clear now! Feel free to share your scariest frock flick eggbeards in the comments.