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My spidey sense (and the preview images) told me that I wasn’t going to dig La Révolution (2020), Netflix’s big-budget French Revolution/pandemic/horror mashup … and I was right. I’m VERY thankful this didn’t get chosen as the Snark Week recap this year, because I would have been VERY annoyed. It’s not BAD, per se, it’s just not inspired, and there isn’t enough to snark or praise. I suffered through two whole episodes before nope-ing out — I tried to check to see if there was going to be some Big Redeeming Costume Scene, and it doesn’t look like it, but apologies if I missed it.
Per Netflix, “In a reimagined history, a mysterious disease besets 18th-century France, culminating in a brutal clash between rebels and the aristocracy.” Weirdly, no costume designer is listed on IMDB.
Here’s what you’ve got:
Comtesse Elise de Montargis is Not Your Average Countess — how do we know? She can shoot better than the boys. Her father is AWOL at Versailles, her evil uncle is in charge while he’s gone, and her younger sister is having problems.
Her younger sister is mute (and possibly deaf?), and having REALLY bad dreams. Like, weird voodoo-inspired, things are coming to get me dreams.
MEANWHILE, young peasant girls are going missing, and one (Rebecca — how is that a French name?) has turned up mauled and dead. Doctor Joseph Guillotin (note name) is trying to find out what’s really going on, particularly as he’s convinced the man who’s been convicted of the crime is innocent. He’s on the hunt of a new disease, which seems to be related.
Joseph is making friends with Katell (HOW IS THAT A FRENCH NAME), the spunky, pirate-wench-outfit chick who works at the jail that he frequents.
MEANWHILE, Evil Uncle has major issues, including a son with a REALLY GROSS GANGRENOUS LEG I DID NOT NEED TO SEE ANY OF THAT.
Cousin/Son of Evil Uncle gets infected with this new disease, which gives you blue blood (get it? blue blood? upper class?). He also apparently starts prancing around in this outfit, which would be okay except it’s all made of the same fabric, including hat and shoes.
MEANWHILE, the lower classes are getting ready to rise up.
A few final thoughts:
Did you love La Révolution? Feel free to tell me so in the comments!