We Bid a Fond Farewell to Reign (2013-2017)

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Alas, our favorite historically inaccurate punching bag has left the building. That’s right, Reign‘s reign on The CW is over. Four seasons of Barbie Mary Queen of Scots running around in modern haute couture gowns while her ladies-in-waiting swap beds and head necklaces — it is no more! This show was beloved by tween girls for the fantasy of castles, romance, and pretty dresses with only the tiniest touch of history, and the series gave us so much Snark Week fodder. What shall we do now that the show is off the air?

Let’s take a trip down memory lane with the best of the worst of four years of Alexander McQueen dresses, free-flowing hair, pirate coats, and soap-opera hijinks in Reign circa 2013-2017.

 

Reign (2013-2017)

Centuries are so confusing!

 

Reign (2013-2017)

Shyeah! WhatEVER, Mary!

 

Reign (2013-2017)

You can’t stop the poly!

 

Reign (2013-2017)

Queen Catherine de Medici just Can’t Even, even for Project Runway.

 

Reign (2013-2017)

Shake, shake, shake, senora.

 

Reign (2013-2017)

Yes I kno-ow, I can’t help it!

 

Reign (2013-2017)

Reign historical accuracy lineup.

 

Reign (2013-2017)

Francis is ready for Career Week on Reign.

 

Reign (2013-2017)

Dear god.

 

Reign (2013-2017)

The ladies of Reign just want to see a hipster band!

 

Reign (2013-2017)

At least it’s not Under the Sea — points for originality?

 

Reign (2013-2017)

I know! What are ruffs?

 

Reign (2013-2017)

Whatever, Reign.

 

Reign (2013-2017)

If Queen Elizabeth is working a bump-it, it must be period, right?

 

2015-reign

Reign‘s later seasons became very committed to a 16th-century aesthetic, mid-18th-century robes à la française notwithstanding.

 

Reign (2013-2017)

Because who needs a historically accurate Queen Elizabeth I like Glenda Jackson or Helen Mirren?

 

Reign (2013-2017)

Aww, yes, we will miss you — snarking you, that is!

 

22 Responses

  1. thedementedfairy

    JESUS WEPT! I have never, [and now, will never] watch/ed a single episode of this. Good grief! The pink Barbie thing! My EYES!!!!!!

    • PandaGrrl

      THE PINK BARBIE THING. I did not get that far into the series (I noped out when Prince Dude had a blacksmith hobby set up in his room. Maybe ep 3?) and even knowing that the costumes were BAD, I still went “What? Is this the right screencap? They didn’t!!” (oh but I bet they did)

  2. Susan Pola Staples

    It was addicting, but still need to see final season. The costumes were so NOT period to be snorts kinda fun. But it was totally NOT (BAD WRITER/DIRECTOR said with a paper like you’re potty training a puppy) historically accurate.
    Still waiting on a MOS series that is. Is Samantha Morton available?

  3. Theta

    The truly awful part of this is…these clothes still exist in some dusty Hollywood storage facility, awaiting future opportunities to horrify all over again. Like the Undead, fire is the best remedy.

  4. Charity

    I have to stream everything, so I got behind in my snark-hate-watching of this show.

    Erm. I’ll wait for it to hit Netflix… whenever.

  5. ladyaquanine73551

    Good riddance, Reign. You did nothing to add to tv, and nobody will miss you as you disappear into the sewers of tv history. Nobody will even remember you a year from now, you were so forgettable and lame, and those of us who DID know you will use as much brain bleach as possible to deliberately forget.

    • scaredygirl

      Come now! It was PERFECT for a cold-medicine-induced-fog bingewatch. I thought maybe I was hallucinating! IT WAS AMAZING.

  6. Peacoclaur

    I watched five minutes of the first episode of “Reign”. But after the assassins tried to kill our heroine at the start, I just couldn’t continue, it was that bad. And I watched the first season of “The Tudors” and as much as I’m embarrassed to admit it, I enjoyed that gilded turkey; but “Reign” just always seemed very “meh”.

  7. Patricia Sanderson Gill

    Meh. I tried watching this show once, and only managed a few minutes before turning the channel. I couldn’t find any appreciation for what felt like 90120 set in the Sixteenth.

  8. Nonnymus

    I think I was irritated the most by the long, messy earrings on Mary (besides the numerous dresses of course). I only watched the last episode (I was curious as to how the mess ended), so I really only snarked on the pictures/promo clips. I first discovered the show late into the game, and when I read the historically-messed up synopsis I went “Nope!”

  9. elizacameron

    I’ve always wondered why they didn’t just start this show when Mary, Queen of Scots arrived in Scotland. That is where all the drama started. It was painful seeing the writers try to come up with love triangles between Mary, Francis and whoever. Plus the names of her ladies in waiting, Greer, Lola, Kenna, so 16th century. Although I did love when Greer became a madame. However, my favorite had to be the whole Nostradamus story line. He had to be the worst psychic in the world.

  10. NonnyBird

    I couldn’t make it past watching the first 5-10 minutes of the 1st episode…all the gross disregard of ANY historical clothing accuracy actually pained me lol And it distracted me enough that I couldn’t pay attention to the story. Plus my head hurt from all the head shaking and cringing I was doing. It was so wrong. I had to cleanse my soul afterwards.

  11. Avara Knights

    DH quasi-banned Reign in our house after watching 5 minutes of it. It still got watched by teenage daughters lol, who loved it. DH started believing in conspiracy theories after Reign came out. He thinks ‘they’ are trying to rewrite/destroy history.

  12. Alexa Levin

    My favorite snark on this show will always be why the frock they felt the need to change the ladies-in-waiting’s names – they were already going for soap opera schlock, did they somehow not see the potential ‘plotlines’ when you have five girls named Mary?

  13. Hannah G.

    I just started watching Reign because I haven’t started my new job yet and I’m bored. Oh my god, it’s like a fever dream. Not just the costumes, but the plot. Like what is even happening???