Dear Amazon,
I get it. You liked Snark Week. We all liked Snark Week. It was a fun fiesta of hideousness and misguided attempts at what my mother would call “snazzing up” historical costume. We’d all like it to come back, and we appreciate you dangling an interesting worm on the end of your hook.
But look. While it’s sweet that you’ve decided to put your toe into the icy cold waters of the deep end with a little piece of what the French call cinéma, there’s a reason these signs are posted all around the pool:
That’s because it generally takes a bit of thought and effort to put together any TV show, let alone one with a historical setting.
But I get it. You’d like more Snark Week. You’re thinking, “I’m a good person! I didn’t do anything to deserve the joy and thrill of Snark Week being pulled from my sensitive fingers!” And in fact, you feel kind of left out. Did any of YOUR shows make it into our snarking? No!
We all share your pain, and we’re here if you just need a hug.
But I find it rather juvenile that you’ve decided to taunt us with “Point of Honor: a Sweet Valley High Production.”
Look. I’m not even a huge U.S. Civil War nerd myself. It’s a pretty sad story, what with all the people dying for the right of other people to enslave yet more people. Also, there’s a lot of hoop skirts, bonnets, and general butter-churny Aunt Pittypat-ness to contend with. (Okay, at least there are no unfortunate biggins).
And I do get that Lila Fowler and Jessica Wakefield can be mean and pushy. You show them an 1862 Godey’s Lady’s Book fashion plate, and they say, “NO. I want to wear this fuchsia neoprene jumpsuit from Lisette’s, and you can’t stop me.” And even if Enid says, “Come on, guys, let’s just wear the Pittypat dresses,” who can fight Lila’s steely gaze? So you compromise. I mean, compromise is a good thing, right?
So you let Lila wear the slut dress, just to shut her up. That makes perfect sense.
Daddy Fowler is proud of his little girl’s… assets.
It was kind of Lila to agree to wear a tablecloth, so long as her tits were out.
And you talk Jessica into the blue dress, because Bruce Patman once complemented her on her blouse matching her eyes.
Jessica Wakefield agreed to a slightly more demure look in the hopes of getting a ride home in 1BRUCE1.
And of course, who would want to tell Jessica that she can’t have bangs? Not me!
Those bangs make me sad too, Jessica.
And we know that the Lay-deez wouldn’t forgive you if took Bruce’s hair gel away. We get it. Nobody wants a riot.
“I shall defend my right to floppy-yet-styled hair to my dying breath!” -Bruce Patman
But Enid was into this! She played hours of Oregon Trail as a kid. She was ready for the Holly Hobby outfit. So why the squishy-boob faux-renfaire bodice?
Really, Enid (right) would have been perfectly happy in a big white muumuu.
I am glad, however, that you opted to keep the girls’ hair extensions. We all know that Sweet Valley is a leading purchaser of weaving hair, and in tough economic times like this, well, it’s your patriotic duty.
Luckily the hair flows free in Sweet Valley.
In closing, Amazon, we hear you. You miss the Snark. And you’re sad that your show wasn’t included in the official Snark Week(TM). Well, we’re here to apologize, and to say that it won’t happen again.
Sincerely,
The Frock Flicks Team
WTF? Looks like Hootchy meets the Clampetts couture. Terrifying. Please don’t tell me there was an actual costumer/designer attached a name to this.
You can watch the first ep for free on Amazon right now! It’s a preview week or something. Go on, I dare you!
http://www.amazon.com/Point-of-Honor/dp/B00RSGIH7M/
I DARE YOU ALL.
Costume designer: Michael T. Boyd: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0101864/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cr17
Also designed for Secretariat, Gettysburg, and a LOT of 19th century stuff.
He should know better! Or maybe he was given $2 for the budget and an hour at Goodwill?
There is NO honor in these costumes (but thanks for the R.O.S. – Return of Snark)
Snark never goes away. It will sneak up on you when you least expect it. Dun dun … dun dun…
Ummm…Please don’t watch it. We don’t want to encourage the movie makers into thinking we appreciate this costume crud. :-p
Free!! Oh boy! I wouldnt watch it if they paid me! They could have saved even more money and just put the ladies in jeans and tank tops no less authentic than this.
SERIOUSLY.
Yer yankin my chain. This production is REAL?!
Yep. This should have been called “Point of Horror” instead.
I literally shut the damn show off after 10 minutes because of the hideousness of the costumes. Just absolutely awful.