So I think my thing with French actor Vincent Cassel is: 1. French accent. 2. I feel like shagging him would be really really hot, then would be followed by a super sketchy trip into the Parisian drug underworld that would probably end in some kind of Requiem for a Dream sobbing, but again, the sex was hot so we’d have that. I know, I’m totally extrapolating from the number of French criminals he’s played…
Jefferson in Paris (1995)
Apparently Cassel played revolutionary Camille Desmoulins in this late 18th-century feast — but I don’t remember him, so it must be a tiny role!
Unfortunate sideburns!
The Pupil (1996)
“Morgan, a sensitive 12-year-old, growing up in richness and royalty, finds a true friend in Julien, a young man hired to tutor him,” per IMDB.
That’s close to a Hitler stache…
Elizabeth (1998)
One of the major reasons I love Cassel — playing cross-dressing French suitor to Queen Elizabeth, the duc d’Anjou, with his “très grand clé!” (very big key — ya know, it’s a penis joke!).
He’s fwoppy!
But he rocks that dress!
The Messenger: The Story of Joan of Arc (1999)
He plays “Gilles de Rais,” whoever that is (ok, companion to Joan and later on a serial killer. Really). Lots of armor.
I call that a “shag you rotten” nose…
Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001)
He plays “Jean-François” in this 18th-century horror/costume/martial arts mix-up.
Aaaaand … that’s a wig.
I think he’s smoking? Smoking hot (ba dum ching)!
Renegade (2004)
Western, don’t care.
A little too Clint Eastwood for my taste.
A Dangerous Method (2011)
Jung, Freud, and Keira Knightley chafin’ away! He plays Otto Gros, psychoanalyst, follower of Freud, and later anarchist.
This is SO 1960s!
The Monk (2011)
As a 17th-century Spanish monk. I’m sensing a lot of sackcloth and ashes…
Beauty and the Beast (2014)
For Trystan’s sanity, I will point out: NOT HISTORICAL. For my own, I’m including it to avoid 3 million “You forgot!” comments.
Okay, so the costumes in this DO look amaze-balls…
Child 44 (2015)
Stalin, World War II, Tom Hardy. Boy movie!
I got nothing!
Tale of Tales (2015)
Looking good in this 17th-century Italian fairy tale!
Contractually obligated leather boots!
But yeah, Trystan was right to gush over these costumes.
Gauguin: Voyage to Tahiti (2018)
French artist Paul Gaugin’s affair with a young Tahitian girl. Gag. And now I know that Cassel has a 20-year-old girlfriend. Double gag.
La patriarchie!!
Coming Soon
The Great Mystical Circus (2018)
“Follows a century in the lives of the Knieps, an Austrian family of circus owners,” per IMDB.
L’Empereur de Paris (2018)
IMDB gives us a summary that makes me think Google Translate was involved: “Under the reign of Napoleon, François Vidocq, the only man to be escaped of the greatest penal colony of the country, is a legend of the low-Parisian fund. Left for dead after its last spectacular escape, the ex-penal colony prisoner tries to make him forget under the traits of a single trader.”
This looks gritty but potentially interesting!
What’s your take on Vincent Cassel’s hotness? Would the shagging be worth the aftermath?
I discovered him in Brotherhood of the Wolf and thought he was dishy in a very French way. I loved that he was married to Monica Bellucci but no depressed that since they split up, he’s dating girls who aren’t even drinking age in the States.
Same. Brotherhood of the Wolf and then Eastern Promises made me really appreciate his beauty and talent. And oh god, La Haine! Not a frock flick but such an important film!
You liked Vincent? You should have a look at his father Jean Pierre, who was also quite the Jazzman and dancer.
It’s a very talented family, but Vincent always loved the extremes. He does villains good.
And played King Louis XIII of France in Richard Lester’s Three and Four Musketeers films.
Jean-Pierre was also in Those Magnificent Men in Their Flying Machines as the French pilot who kept abandoning the race to go flirt with women along the route.
He just creeps me out. Like I never want to be in a room alone with him. I have no idea why. Just shudders
Same! I watched Tale of Tales recently and he’s just so creepy/skeevy/icky shudder However I can’t think of anything else he’s been in that I’ve seen/recognized him in, so I don’t know how much of that was the character and how much was him.
“The Reckoning.” The medieval costuming in this one contains a heavy shipment of WTF, but it’s a good story. Plus Cassel, in red leather. You’re welcome, Kendra.
Honestly, the first thing I ever saw of him was his role in Black Swan, where he was the director sexually harassing Natalie Portman’s character, and that creep factor has stayed with me ever since.
Part of why I really don’t buy him as the Beast in the visual porn of La Belle et La Bête.
I was intrigued by your post about Vincent Cassel. As an American who’s lived in France since 1992, I’ve discovered a lot of French actors, singers, etc., who are very famous & popular over there (and in Europe in general) but hardly known by the general public in the U.S.
He probably started seeing that 20-year-old girl (OMG, younger than my kids!), during or after the filming of Tale of Tales, where he looks pretty hunky. Is that chest shot true or photoshopped?
I also would like to mention that French guys can get away with crossing their legs while sitting (my husband does it), which an American guy, and maybe some gals would think so ‘queer’.
I have unreasonable amount of love for this man. So damn handsome and such a good actor. I adore him in Brotherhood of the Wolf even if there are some serious wtfs in that movie.