Here at Frock Flicks HQ, I’m pretty much the bottom-feeder of the trio. I’ll review the worst movies with absolute glee — blame it on my misspent youth watching MST3K. My bar is pretty low, in other words, so when I saw Marquise of Darkness (2010) on Amazon Video, I decided it was something that I needed to watch. Much to my surprise, Trystan had recently panned it as not worth the energy. I was not so easily dissuaded, however!
It stars French actress Anne Parillaud, who has appeared a number of times in English-language films, and is perhaps best known for her role in La Femme Nikita (1990). She’s not a bad actress from what I can tell of the stuff I’ve watched her in over the years, but for whatever reason, Trystan was totally right: Marquise of Darkness is so not worth the time and energy.
Right off the bat, I hate to be the asshole who is all, “The lead actors are too old,” because I’m usually all for the casting of actors who are north of 30 in juicy roles, but seriously. There’s a limit to how far I’m willing to suspend disbelief when a 50-year-old woman is playing an ingenue half her age.
Anyway, I’m not going to belabor the point, here. I couldn’t even finish Marquise of Darkness, it was that bad. The costumes couldn’t even make up for the fact that it’s just. so. bad. I only made it to the first weird sex scene and had to nope out.
Did you make it further? Tell me what I’m missing in the comments!