I Can’t Relax About That Ikea Video


And not just because of the costumes. I have so many unanswered questions! So let’s just break it down and maybe you can help me out here. First, you’ll want to watch the video in whole:

Now, here’s what I’m wondering…

1. The servant brings an orange pointy food out on a tray for the family’s meal. Then the little girl picks a yellow apple to eat and is stopped by her father. WHAT IS THIS DISH??? WHAT ARE THEY EATING???


2. Why is the painter painting a bowl of yellow apples? What happened to the orange pointy food?

3. Why is there a mouse at the dining table? Is it a pet? Is their house infested? The hell?

4. The clock last showed 7:25 and it’s still light out when the coach leaves with the painting. So why is the woman asleep in bed? (Nice wig though.)


5. She gives a “thumbs up” to the painting, which shows apples, but not the orange dish that started the whole scene. WTF?

6. Why does the whole family of nine (10 if you count the goat) only gets one “like”? Is that class-based, since they appear less financially well-off than the previous woman (goat not withstanding)?

7. Why does the prisoner / person behind the door even get a vote? We can’t be sure this person even sees the painting.

8. You interrupted a duel, BUT WE NEVER LEARN THEIR VOTE. I feel cheated.

ikea-8duel1 ikea-8duel2
9. Nothing to say about the crowd except there’s a lot of unfortunate bigginses.

10. Old lady in pink really could use some bust support, but the poncy men are my everything.

ikea-10party1 ikea-10party2 ikea-10party3


Share your thoughts on this 18th-century themed Ikea commercial in the comments below!


About the author

Trystan L. Bass

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A self-described ElderGoth, Trystan has been haunting the internet since the early 1990s. Always passionate about costume, from everyday office wear to outrageous twisted historical creations, she has maintained some of the earliest online costuming-focused resources on the web. Her costuming adventures are chronicled on her website, TrystanCraft. She also ran a popular fashion blog, This Is CorpGoth, dedicated to her “office drag.”

34 Responses

  1. Sarah Lorraine

    Oh, Trystan, never change. You magnificent wagon, you. <3

  2. suzieday

    F*ck me, you girls can be funny sometime!

    You are right, that sh*t just doesn’t add up.

    I was cracking up so hard over this post, my wife in the next room (who is constantly giving me sh*t for my love affair with this blog. She just doesn’t get what it is like to love period costume) heard me, and asked what was up. I replied that I was “Just busy being amused over a French-ish Ikea add with apples, poncy men, and more than a few unfortunate bigginses”, and she didn’t know what to think. She finally settled on “What’s a bigginses?”, to which I replied “Google the words Frock Flicks and Unfortunate Bigginses”. She still think I am as barmy as ever, but at least I have finally gotten her to read one of your articles!

      • Lady Hermina De Pagan

        I just got home from Pennsic War, and I got into *slight* trouble with Duke Cariodoc for calling Arming Caps Unfortunate Biggins. I just totally blamed all you ladies and continued on my way.

          • Lady Hermina de Pagan

            Unless you are on the list field, why would you put a head condom on?! Wear a flat cap for goodness sake. then again, I’m a bad pirate/sailor because I REFUSE to wear a thrum cap. I’ll do a turban, head scarf or live cat before I wear a dead muppet on my head. :P

  3. Frannie Germeshausen

    Laughed out loud at the premise. But I’m with you – what was the orange pointy food???

    • Trystan L. Bass

      I think the oysters are surrounding it, which makes the painting even more wrong, because the oysters look mostly eaten & have something that looks like a banana peel on the same plate. I mean, really, this guy is the crappiest food blogger evar!

  4. Liutgard

    Looked like the pointy orange stuff was crawfish or lobster. They’re quite pointy when served fancy-like.

  5. thedementedfairy

    I would say crayfish or prawns too. Fab post, I wee’d a bit..
    As for ‘why is the woman asleep in bed?’ ASLEEP? Are you mad, she was being serviced by the footman, [or possibly the kitchenmaid, couldn’t tell] and what time are you supposed to do that then? Hmmm?
    Keep ’em coming missus, I need more of this.

  6. Daniel C

    The painting is based on a real Dutch painting “Still Life with Peacock Pie” by Pieter Claesz, from 1627

      • MoHub

        It’s a classic Dutch School painting. However, the way they show the painting being done in the video is not true to the technique of the time at all.

        • Daniel C

          Yeah it’s also been freely modified to change the peacock to a pheasant

  7. Susan Pola

    Loved it. Especially the unfortunate biginesses and poncy men. The blond wig one has my vote for the poncy man that I…

  8. brenna

    Ponsy men are also my everything. I love everything about this post.

  9. Liesl

    I assumed the orange pointy things were some kind of period art Cheeto. Mmmm. Cheeto.