TBT: Virgin Territory (2008)

8

Since we’ve been sheltering in place for the last two weeks or so, I felt like a lighthearted plague movie might be in order. And fortunately for me, Virgin Territory (2008) was available streaming on Tubi for free. We’ve seen stills from this film throughout the years, some even cropping up in various Snark Week memes, but I’ve never actually bothered to watch the film. All I really knew going in was that it was somehow or another very loosely based on Boccaccio’s Decameron, and the costumes looked wacky.

Virgin Territory (2007) - Snark Week

A little something for everyone.

As the lone SCA member of Frock Flicks, I did not endorse this meme.

So, now that I’ve watched it, I can say the following:

1) It bears only the barest passing resemblance to Decameron, insofar as a bunch of young Florentines escape to the countryside during the plague, but that’s about where the similarities end. It’s more in keeping with Porky’s than anything else. And that’s not exactly a bad thing … Except for the part with the cow … That was definitely a bad thing.

That poor cow.

Anyway. What I’m saying is just don’t go into the film thinking you’re going to get high art.

Just trying to set expectations as low as possible.

2) The costumes are indeed wacky, but the ones worn by the main female characters are actually quite beautiful. The costumes were designed by Italian fashion designer Roberto Cavalli, and so you’re only going to get a passing nod to the 15th century, in the same way the plot is basically a passing nod to Boccaccio. This black number, honestly, is straight up gorgeous.

Overall, though, it’s watching a bunch of pretty people hump while wearing questionably period clothes in a gorgeous Tuscan location. If you’re expecting anything better than that, you probably shouldn’t watch this movie.

Matthew Rhys as the Russian Count, who clearly raided Elvis’ closet.

 

There’s a ton of skirt hiking in this film. Also, weird cowboy boots.

 

Lots of flowing chiffon in floral prints. It’s not exactly my aesthetic, but Mischa Barton rocks it.

 

The parts of the film that took place in the convent were honestly some of the most cringy in a film FULL of cringe.

 

The contractually obligated leather pants were in full force in this film.

 

It’s pretty, but…

I don’t want to shit on the film that much, because honestly, it’s not intended to be anything more than fantasy. It had it’s pleasing moments, but I doubt I would watch it again.

 

Did you see Virgin Territory? Tell us what you thought in the comments!

8 Responses

  1. Boxermom

    Hooray for Tubi! Thanks to them, I’ve been binge-watching Bitchin’ Kitchen (if you haven’t seen it, it’s hilarious). I think I might check this one out, if only for the flying penises. :)

    Reply
  2. Susan

    Plagueish “Flesh and Blood” 80s pic with Rutgar Hauer. Have you ever reviewed it? From what I remember it was some what raw but a costume pic.

    Reply
  3. Sam Marchiony

    The first and only time I watched this, it was for Hayden Christensen, and I do not regret that choice. I could relate to those very inaccurate nuns.

    Reply
  4. Susan Pola Staples

    Although there’s the contractual leather pants, the production team is in breach of contract for not having:1) men wearing boots indoors; 2) lack of Renaissance-esque head necklaces; 3) the obligatory Mary Sue character …..

    Reply
  5. Stephanie Publicker

    Thank you for sparking some memories. I lived in Italy in the 1970s and raunchy Decameron movies were all the rage. I learned the best Italian from those movies. The movies had about as much to do with the Decameron as this movie does.

    Reply
  6. ThePrinceIsOnFire

    This Movie was actually shot in the Lazio region, mainly in the Palazzo Farnese of Caprarola and the gorgeous woods near the Bracciano Castle (the same castle where Tom Cruise infamously married Katie Holmes).

    Very frequently, the so- called “Tuscia” portion of Lazio is used as Tuscany in international productions: it happened with “the Medici” “The Borgias”(EU Version),A Midsummer Night’s Dream (1999 film) and many, many more.

    Us- Anglophone folks are pretty obsessed with Tuscany, but while that region is very beautiful, some of the finest renaissence wonders can be found in Lazio: Lucrezia Borgia’s Villa d’Este, the famous Parco dei mostri di Bomarzo, Villa Lante and more.

    Reply

Feel the love

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.