Support Frock Flicks with a small donation! During Snark Week and beyond, we’re grateful for your small, one-time contributions via PayPal or monthly pledges for exclusive content via Patreon to offset the costs of running this site. You can even buy our T-shirts and swag. Think of this like supporting public broadcasting, but with tons of swearing and no tax deductions!
Starting with our second Snark Week, I’ve picked a shitty frock flick to recap, because I love sharing the blow-by-blows with you. This year, I asked you to choose what film/series I should recap, and the clear winner was Maria Theresia (2017-). This is an Austrian-Czech miniseries about Empress Maria Theresa, Holy Roman Empress and empress/queen of Austria, Hungary, Croatia, Bohemia, Transylvania, Mantua, Milan, Lodomeria and Galicia, the Austrian Netherlands, and Parma, beginning in 1741 and reigning through 1780. The series had two (LONG) episodes in 2017, two more in 2019, and apparently a further two more are planned. I’ll recap the four existing episodes this week, and on Friday I’ll do some actual research and talk about what the production got right, and where they messed up, in the costumes.
Check out my recaps of episode one, two, and three! This episode sticks to the 1740s, ending in about 1749, FYI. Once again we’ve got auto-generated German subtitles being auto-translated into English, so no subtleties!
Von der Trenck and his soldiers have brought Maria Theresa military success, but they do a lot of raping and pillaging too. Soldiers try to bring this to MT’s attention, but she’s hearing none of it and sticks by him.
Things are increasingly frosty with hubby Francis.
His floozies aren’t helping; MT standing by von der Trenck isn’t helping.
MT goes on a Catholic binge, partially (it is implied) because of Francis’s floozies. She and the Head Priest Guy decide to ban prostitution, resulting in raids and women being separated from their children, shorn, and banished. Head Priest Guy isn’t particularly nice about this.
MT is on her high horse about morality and fights a lot with Francis about it. There’s also continued war, this time for Bohemia.
At a ball, Court Bitch #1 gives MT the heads up that everyone is secretly gambling, and that MT’s childhood governess — who is now governess of MT’s children — is shagging somebody. This pisses off MT, who is now the morality police. She goes off on everyone at the ball and fires the governess.
Head Priest Guy gives MT a list of Francis’s floozies. She confronts Francis with it, and he runs off to do damage control while she gives birth to another child, missing the birth. After the birth she tells him they will live separately and only see each other for state occasions.
Sister Maria Anna brings a child who testifies to von der Trenck’s cruelties. MT’s eyes are finally opened, and she has him imprisoned.
MT decides to visit the troops. She finds language barriers and disease are major problems.
MT is REALLY not happy when she finds out (very cold) hoooors are shipped in for the soldiers.
On the flip side, MT has the hots for (and a connection with) the military captain who is her main liaison for this trip. After resisting a few nights in a row, she finally shags him.
MT goes back to Vienna, and her eyes are now open. Court Bitch #1 apologizes to the governess, and MT reconciles with her too.
At a garden party, MT seems more like her younger self, flirting and getting along with Francis.
MT announces some good war news, only to faint. DUN DUN DUN, she’s preggers with not-her-husband’s child!
Maria Anna and Charles have been married off-screen; Maria Anna announces she’s pregnant. Everyone’s happy, but MT has her own problems weighing her down.
MT confesses her secret to Maria Anna. Head Priest Guy SUSPECTS (insert mustache twirling) and forces Maria Anna to tell him the secret. After much hang-wringing, Maria Anna confesses. MT (and her mom) are PISSED and send Maria Anna away from court.
Now that Head Priest Guy has the goods on MT, he makes her make him the Official Religious Guy for the army. He starts announcing all kinds of “making sure the soldiers are pious” reforms. Francis, who MT has been softening towards and who has been softening towards her, is upset. They fight, and Francis confesses that he’s a Freemason, who are definitely verboten by the Catholic church.
Mid-way through a war council, MT receives a letter from Maria Anna, who announces her child was stillborn, and she is dying. MT fires Head Priest Guy.
Head Priest Guy threatens to expose MT in his last sermon. It seems like the Shit Is About To Go Down, when another priest who outranks Head Priest Guy (he’s from the Vatican) steps in and turns the sermon into “yay Maria Theresia!” Big Phew!
MT, mom, and her ladies hatch a plan to send MT to Tuscany for a few months, so she can have her illegitimate child in secret. As they’re spinning the set up, Francis announces that she shouldn’t go, because they’re expecting a Happy Event. He’s covering for the pregnancy and acknowledging the child as his own!
MT gives birth, Francis is there and is loving of her and child. The two have reconciled!
And that’s it for recaps … at least until any new episodes come out (apparently some are planned). Stay tuned tomorrow for an Actual Research post where I analyze what Maria Theresia got right and wrong in the costumes.