Signs Your Frock Flick Addiction Is Out of Control

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Some people are addicted to thrills or drugs, Robert Palmer said you’re addicted to love, and some of us can’t get through the day without a caffeine fix. But if you’re reading this site, you just might be addicted to historical costume movies and TV shows. If you identify positively with the statements below, yep, you’re one of us. You’re addicted and there’s no 12-step program that can help! #SorryNotSorry

 

You May Be Addicted to Historical Costume Movies and TV If…

 

Sunday nights when Masterpiece Classic airs Poldark and HBO also shows Game of Thrones makes for household conflict (or a full DVR).

dangerous-beauty-sword

Don’t even try to touch that remote.

 

You yell at the screen when you see metal grommets in a historical costume movie or TV show.

lestat-what

This is an outrage!

 

Just the mention of Braveheart will cause swearing.

Braveheart-quotes1

 

You’re still a little miffed that Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson broke up.

emma-thompson-sob

This one still cuts deep.

 

Glenda Jackson is your Queen Elizabeth

glenda-jackson-one-mistress

 

Jennifer Ehle is your Lizzie Bennet

jennifer-ehle-slow-walk

Bring it, Knightly.

 

Kirsten Dunst is your Marie-Antoinette

marie-antoinette-cake

 

Katherine Hepburn is your Eleanor of Aquitaine.

katherine-hepburn-nipples

 

You’ve left a scythe around for your male sig.other in the hopes that he’d get a hint about the gardening.

poldark-scything

HINT. HINT.

 

Visiting Highclere Castle sounds like a better vacation than going to DisneyLand.

have-fun-storming-the-castle

 

You can spot an unfortunate biggins a mile away.

Marguerite-3

Disgusting.

 

The Netherfield Ball plays a key part in your sexual fantasies.

colin-firth-bath

And, let’s be honest, so does this scene.

 

You wonder why so many men in Elizabethan period films are dressed for riding while at court, what with all the boots instead of shoes.

borgias-cant-even

Cannot Even.

 

Hate-watching Reign is totally a thing.

Reign-Mary

 

Your dream wedding includes Claire’s gown from Outlander, the church from The Sound of Music, and the reception that Lady Rose had in Downton Abbey.

When-All-Female-Gazing-Going-Scene-Would-Probably-Have-Laura-Mulvey-Her-Feet

And if you’re lucky, this husband.

 

Free-flowing hair and a lack of hats make your teeth itch.

PnPMediaeval

 

You had a picture of Helena Bonham Carter as Lady Jane Grey in your high school locker.

hbc_lady-jane-boots

#RoleModels

 

Colin Firth is your Mr. Darcy.

 

Mr-Darcy-Collin-Firth

 

Alan Rickman is your Col. Brandon.

alan-rickman-wentworth

 

Sean Bean is your Vronsky.

anna-karenina

 

Toby Stephens is your Rochester.

toby-stephens-rochester

 

You love a Shakespearean movie set in any period, as long as it’s World War II or earlier.

romeo-juliet-palmers-kiss

 

When your friends invite you to go see the latest comic book movie opening, you beg off because TMC is showing a Vivien Leigh double-feature.

Gone-With-the-Wind-vivien-leigh1

Thanks, but no thanks.

 

Your dogs are named the Dowager Pupness and Ruff Poldark.

mayor-cutie-roll

 

Back-lacing in 18th-century gowns makes you throw up in your mouth a little.

gag-me

 

You’re not British, but your interior monologue has a British accent.

dowager-duchess-toad

Oh, tell the truth. Your inner monologue is played by the Dowager Duchess.

 

Two words: cravat porn.

becoming-jane-cheeky

 

How else can you tell if you’re hopelessly addicted to historical costume movies and TV shows?

About the author

The Frock Flicks Team

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Three historical costumers who decided the world needed a podcast and blog dedicated to historical costume movies and everything right and wrong with them.

33 Responses

    • Mary

      I am so happy to find another Garvie/Rintoul fan. I guess the first P&P you see stays with you always. I’m fine with Firth, too, but Jennifer Ehle was simply _not_ Elizabeth Bennett.

      Reply
      • MoHub

        Having read the novel multiple times prior to 1980, I found Garvie and Rintoul were exactly what I’d visualized during my readings.

        And they weren’t my first. I had seen the Garson/Olivier version first and been sorely disappointed.

        Reply
        • Mary

          We shall not speak of the Garson/Olivier version. It simply does not exist for me.

          Reply
  1. Broughps

    Would rather have what Claire was wearing when Jamie came into the room as a wedding dress instead of the actual wedding dress, but yeah definitely that husband.

    Sorry but Matthew Macfadyen is my Darcy.

    Reply
  2. Bea

    But… Ciaran Hinds is my Wentworth! Where’s the love? ;)
    Alan Rickman FOREVERANDEVERANDEVERANDALWAYS

    Reply
  3. mmcquown

    I can quit anytime. Really. No, I just point at the pages in Janet Arnold and scream at the TV screen occasionally…

    Reply
  4. MoHub

    We needed Leslie Howard in Scarlet Pimpernel for the ultimate in cravat porn!

    Reply
  5. Rowen G.

    I just looked at my smallish (less than 50) collection of dvds; the only two which are *not* pre-20th century are The Secret of Roan Inish and Songcatcher, neither of which is exactly modern. Obviously, I qualify as a fairly hopeless case. (Ciaran Hinds is my preferred Capt. Wentworth.)

    Reply
    • Janette

      Secret of Roan Inish is worthy of the best collection. Delightful film though entirely lacking in costumes.

      Reply
  6. Susan Pola

    I ticked off all the signs, but not my dream wedding. My dream wedding gown is Alexandra Feodorovna’s coronation gown, church is either York Minister or the Abbey and reception is at Blenheim or Arundel. I will admit that my engagement party dress is Claire’s Wedding Gown. Hubby is Jamie, *swoon*.
    Another sign is throwing things at TV when costume travesties appear, screaming at metal grommets and ROTFLI at really bad costumes.

    Reply
  7. Charity

    Hate-watching Reign is totally a thing. It gives me deep joy to shriek, “WHAAAT??” at my television.

    FINALLY. Others who understand why Stephens is the best Rochester. And to think (oh horror) back when he was initially cast, I set up a howl of protest — only for him to persuade me to LIKE him right off the bat. No other Rochester has thus far managed it. :P

    Reply
  8. May

    Um so I met suitable English gentel man married him emmigrated convinced him that he really really needed to live in a village and wear period clothing and take me balls so that we could learn period dance.

    Reply
    • MoHub

      Dalton may have been a tad too handsome, but he certainly captured the character.

      Reply
  9. Lady Hermina De Pagan

    Let’s see my spirit Husband is Alan Rickman, pick a role any role. My dream wedding gown is Little Edie Beale’s coming out gown from Grey Gardens. I adore that cape hood. I can also watch a Frock flick and see if they made custom patterns for the gowns or commercial patterns. I’m looking at you Simplicity 2859. Or if they copied gowns from a specific vendor who’s work is very recognizable. Look at Armstreet and the costuming in Robinhood.
    I hate to admit this but Mia Wasikowska is my Jane Eyre. We finally had a movie plain and feisty Jane.

    Reply
  10. Clara

    All the ticks all of them (except for the Poldark one, but alas, that’s the thing of not living in the States)

    Another one is when you go: THAT PRINT/EMBROIDERY/DYE DOES NOT BELONG THERE.

    Reply
  11. Ocean Senta

    Is it a bad sign that I’ve seen almost every movie/show that the gifs are taken from? I think that might be a sign of addiction right there!

    Reply
  12. Susan Pola

    I think we all have seen the shows/movies that the gifs are from. Several times. It shows intelligence, good taste and the ability to drool over the clothes as well as Darcy, Mr Rochester, etal.

    Reply

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