Michael Fassbender is a hottie, but I mostly associate him with contemporary film. So color me shocked when I went and looked and found that he’s actually been in a TON of historical films! Let’s appreciate this tall, auburn-haired drink of something very, VERY hot, shall we?
Band of Brothers (2001)
Still haven’t seen it, despite so many actors of hotness in it.
A Bear Named Winnie (2004)
I have no idea what this is about, but in my mind it’s about Winnie the Pooh (it quite possibly is). It’s set during World War II, and Fassbender is buddies with a bear. Named Winnie.
A Most Mysterious Murder: The Case of Charles Bravo (2004)
I’m unclear on this one too, and sadly this picture is fuzzy, but who cares because Fassbender + White Tie. Also, this man can rock the mutton chops like few can.
Gunpowder, Treason & Plot (2004)
The fact this film’s title doesn’t use the serial comma is the least of its problems. Floating ruffs, shitty hair, and homophobia run rampant through this historically inaccurate tale of Mary, Queen of Scots and James I. Apparently Fassbender was in it. It was too long ago for me to remember!
First of all, Rupert Everett plays Sherlock fans self. Second, I’m not sure if Fassbender plays the baddie or just someone who’s cocky, but YES PLEASE.
Poirot: After the Funeral (2005)
Shockingly, I have seen this. It’s not my usual cup of tea, but if you’re going to get Gerard Butler to run around shirtless, I’m in. Fassbender shirtless just adds to the appeal. I don’t care if half of the muscles are done with makeup and SFX. I’m just going to sit here and appreciate all the hotties in vaguely bondage-y leather speedos.
This might be one of the shittiest movies around, despite starring Fassbender and Romola Garai. I have no idea what went wrong. My guess is the scriptwriter was someone’s grandson/daughter and so no one could tell them the script sucked?
The Devil’s Whore (2008)
Fassbender joins Andrea Riseborough and Dominic West in this fictional tale set during the English Civil War. Fassbender plays a roundhead (i.e., Team Cromwell, anti-Team King), and he and Riseborough do some lovely shagging in between excellent mid-17th century gowns and battles. Highly recommended.
Inglorious Basterds (2009)
I’d kind of like to have seen this, but I don’t actually want to see it. Get me? Nonetheless, Fassbender in Nazi military uniform = a Very Good Thing.
I’m unclear as to who thought this was a good idea, and the fur-pelt-shirt doesn’t excite me, but at least Fassbender partially gets his kit off. Thank you baby jesus!
Jonah Hex (2010)
An “American post-Civil War science-fiction Western film loosely based on the DC Comics character of the same name,” per Wikipedia. I’m sure there’s a perfectly legit reason for the tattoos.
Jane Eyre (2011)
12 Years a Slave (2011)
Fassbender plays a screwed up, horrible slave owner in this film. The saving grace is it’s LOVELY to see his beard grown in so red!
A Dangerous Method (2011)
Keira Knightley as a person with mental health issues who has a lot of sex — I just can’t. Nonetheless, I am impressed at how well Fassbender cleans up.
Slow West (2011)
I only caught the end of this (the husband was watching it, and I wandered into the room), but it looked pretty good if you’re into arty.
Still haven’t seen this recent Shakespeare adaptation. Someone please tell me there’s a sex scene between Fassbender and Marion Cotillard?
Coming Soon: Assassin’s Creed
Hopefully it won’t all be dirty boys and battles? Oh, who am I kidding.
Coming Soon: The Light Between Oceans
Fassbender and Alicia Vikander play an Australian couple who rescue a baby they find stranded and raise her. It’s set sometime mid-20th century and looks pretty heartbreaking from the trailer. Also, Rachel Weisz, which is a good thing!
What’s your favorite Michael Fassbender film?