MCM: Gerard Butler

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Is Gerard Butler really a historical costume movie actor? No, not really. Have I even seen 90% of the historical films he’s been in? No, because they look like crap. Am I going to abuse my power as one-third of the Frock Flicks triumvirate to ignore all this and indulge my ha-uge crush on Butler? Yes, yes I am.

Gerard Frickin’ Butler. Tall. Dark hair. Often facial haired. THAT SCOTTISH ACCENT OH MY GOD I NEED A LIE DOWN IN A VERY DARK ROOM PLEASE NOTE THE SOCK ON THE DOOR. Looks fiiiiiine in a suit. All rugged ‘n shit. Please, baby jesus and Hollywood, put him in some actual historical costume movies so I can do a round 2 post on him.

Until then, I will pretend that these examples of his oeuvre fit within “historical costume movies” so that I can look at his prettiness:

 

Mrs. Brown (1997)

I’m with Sarah, I saw this back in the day and found it very eat-your-greens-it’s-good-for-you. I have no memory of Mr. Butler being in it, but apparently this was his first film role!

Mrs Brown (1997)

Baby Butler!

 

The Cherry Orchard (1999)

Apparently Gerard Butler was in an adaptation of the famous Chekhov play. No idea, I just see cute curls and a manly beard!

The Cherry Orchard (1999)

There’s that trademark smirk!

The Cherry Orchard (1999)

Daw, look at those high-waisted pants! And that tight, tight shirt…

 

Attila (2001)

Gerard Butler as Attila the Hun. BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA. This looks soooooo cheeseball I can’t even (okay, maybe I could if there were a lot of cocktails and I had at least 5 girlfriends to cackle with).

Attila (2001)

Oooo can I be a bathroom handmaiden?

Attila (2001)

Does Attila have pathos? No idea.

Attila (2001)

In my fantasy, this raised hand is his response to me asking “Who wants a bouncy pony ride??!!”

Attila (2001)

DEAR GOD. He looks like the first actor who played Daario Naharis on Game of Thrones (i.e., super cheeseball romance novel cover). Don’t care. HE’S TOO HOT.

 

The Phantom of the Opera (2004)

Despite my love of musicals, I have previously confessed my hatred for this one, which I have seen live (to my permanent detriment). I think the film adaptation’s costumes look lovely (especially Minnie Driver’s 18th-century opera costumes), but I just don’t think I could sit through it … even with Gerard Butler in it, since they despoil his perfection by putting a MASK on him (the horror).

Phantom of the Opera (2004)

This doesn’t even really look like Gerard Butler!

Phantom of the Opera (2004)

Although he does look dreamy.

Phantom of the Opera (2004)

I approve of the open-chest, flouncy shirt.

 

Beowulf & Grendel (2005)

Another “manly” historical film. Haven’t seen it. Don’t care. Lookit the pretty.

Beowulf & Grendel (2005)

Gerard Butler by flickering firelight…

Beowulf & Grendel (2005)

Ripple those muscles for me, Gerry!

 

The Game of Their Lives (2005)

Some 1950s-set football movie. Hey, I’m not here for the content!

The Game of Their Lives (2005)

Oh to be a football…

 

300 (2006)

Okay, I admit it. I have seen this movie, with the requisite cocktails and cackling girlfriends. It IS a total manly wankfest, and the incredible abs are totally done through makeup and CGI. Don’t care, if you need a shot of testosterone, this will get you EXACTLY what you need. Again, I’m not here for actual content.

300 (2006)

Yesssssssssss

300 (2006)

Ain’t nothing like a Gerard Butler in a leather loincloth-thingie.

300 (2006)

Did I mention Butler is surrounded by a raft of other lickable chests?

300 (2006)

And he’s all powerful and badass and shit.

300 (2006)

AND THE SEX SCENE WITH LENA HEADEY. I may have made my friends run it back and watch it. Three times.

300 (2006)

I mean… I just… *sits with mouth gaping open*

300 (2006)

“My smirk is up here, lassie.”

300 (2006)

 

Gods of Egypt (2016)

Okay, so the husband and I actually watched this recently, because we’d heard it was So Bad. Yeah, it really is BAAAAAAAAAAAD. I think the script was written by a committee of 5-year-olds, and the studio clearly decided this was going to tank and so didn’t add the final polish to the effects. Oh well, Gerard Butler gets to keep his Scottish accent — which is totally random in the film, since everyone else has an English accent, but nonetheless it brings me to my knees.

2016 Gods of Egypt

The man looks good in a breastplate.

Gods of Egypt (2016)

Did I mention Gerard Butler’s the baddie?

Gods of Egypt (2016)

Don’t care, here for the manliness.

 

Which vaguely-historical actor makes you weak in the knees?

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About the author

Kendra

Website

Kendra has been a fixture in the online costuming world since the late 1990s. Her website, Démodé Couture, is one of the most well-known online resources for historical costumers. In the summer of 2014, she published a book on 18th-century wig and hair styling. Kendra is a librarian at a university, specializing in history and fashion. She’s also an academic, with several articles on fashion history published in research journals.

9 Responses

  1. Susan Pola

    Only ones I’ve seen are Mrs Brown as I’m a Huuuuuge Dame Judi fan and Phantom. Loved first. Only decent thing about second, and I adored Michael Crawford in the stage version, maybe was Christine’s pink ball gown. I

    Reply
  2. Maria

    I tried to watch Mrs. Brown but gave up after about 30 minutes, the next movie I watched was Attila – and I admit I only watched it to see him in the tub – lol – I watched Phantom and let’s just say that I can’t ever watch it again – lol -= I did watch 300 – which I thought would have been a good film if it had been made by a different director with a better script and less of the cheesy cartoonish hangups – and so far I’ve managed to miss Gods of Egypt but I might watch it just for the good looking guys. I have to admit that i’m curious he can still get an acting job after all of the cheesy movies he’s been in

    Reply
  3. Adela

    Beowulf & Grendel isn’t too bad if you don’t mind anachronisms and the ran out of budget and time effect on indie films. It has some great moments and then a lot of face palm ones. And you know that’s a young Fassbender in that gang of Spartan abs, right? And then there’s Timeline(2003) where a oh so Scottish Gerry is trying to flirt with a French noble during the 100years war.

    Reply
  4. Patricia

    ok, I am a professionally trained opera singer and Phantom makes me cringe, but it is worth the watch to see the ending. Gerry makes me cry. I also love him in Reign of Fire with other gorgeous men, Christian Bale and Matthew McConaughey.

    Reply
  5. Kathleen

    “a raft of other lickable chests”

    Um, where do you get these units of measure?!
    …and please bring me 2 rafts worth, post-haste!

    Reply
  6. Julia

    I have said many times before that he is the lumberjack of my dreams with beard and accent. Also, I know it’s not historical but he was amazing in Coriolanus.

    Reply
  7. Adina

    It’s not really historical, but he did a surprisingly good job in Ralph Fiennes’ Coriolanus.

    Reply
  8. saffireblu

    ‘Atilla’ was a guilty pleasure before I developed discernment- ‘Phantom of the Opera’ & ‘300’ were the guilty pleasures after I developed taste. I really wish for once in my life I hadn’t been such a nerd as to look at the history behind ‘300’… Queen Gorgo’s Leonidas’ half-niece – I cannot un-know that…

    Reply

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