Man Candy Monday: Tom Hardy

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Snark Week is over. Sob. To help us all transition back to the daily grind, here’s a little Man Candy Monday featuring one of the hottest human beings in existence, Tom Hardy. You’re welcome.

Now, Tom Hardy is a man’s man. We’re probably never going to see him in anything froofy ever again. And he’s ruining my fantasies by sporting an unfortunate beard these days. But, at least we can always remember him when he was young and desperate and PRETTY. And take heart from the fact that he’s still willing to do historical movies, so long as he gets to exude testosterone.

 

Band of Brothers (2001)

Haven’t seen it, still happy to gaze on a young and unsullied Thomas:

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That should be a red heart around Tom.

Pan the camera lower!

 

Colditz (2005)

A TV movie that lets us see Monsieur Hardy in uniform. Thank you!

 

Sweeney Todd (2006)

Apparently he was in some TV version of the musical as “Andrew.” I may have to track this down.

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The wig! The tricorn!

 

The Virgin Queen (2006)

As Robert Dudley, Earl of Leicester. Yes please.

Don’t fight the girly costume movie, Tom.

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May I divest milord of his doublet, prithee?

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PUPPY

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Gettin’ all sweaty, working out his frustrations.

 

Minotaur (2006)

Sounds like it’s terrible, but Tom Hardy is “way better than he needs to be, perhaps under the impression that he’s in a real movie.” – Emily Armstrong, Rotten Tomatoes

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Would sir care for a towel?

 

Marie Antoinette (2006)

My personal favorite. He has about three lines, and is in about two scenes, but HE’S SO DAMN HOT IN THAT WIG AND THAT 18TH-CENTURY SUIT.

Selfie: YES. MOAR.

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Do I get to play?

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I’M GONNA NEED A MOMENT HERE.

 

Oliver Twist (2007)

Genius casting, if you ask me.

GLOWER AT ME SOME MORE.

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Raggy yet jaunty!

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PUPPY

 

Wuthering Heights (2009)

How they talked him into this, I have no idea.

No rain, nor sleet, nor snow?

YES PLEASE

YES PLEASE

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Again, don’t fight the girly costume movie, Tom!

 

Shockingly, we actually have things to look forward to:

Child 44 (2015)

“Set in Stalin-era Soviet Union, a disgraced MGB agent is dispatched to investigate a series of child murders — a case that begins to connect with the very top of party leadership.” Soviet uniforms!

Contact!

Dirty and cute.

 

Legend (2015)

“Identical twin gangsters Ronald and Reginald Kray terrorize London during the 1950s and 1960s.” Ooo, I’m picturing some good accents in this!

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Sharp dressed man.

 

The Revenant (2015)

“The frontiersman, Hugh Glass, who in the 1820s set out on a path of vengeance against those who left him for dead after a bear mauling.” With Leonardo DiCaprio. No pics yet. I’m picturing a lot of beards.

 

Taboo (??)

Adventurer James Keziah Delaney builds his own shipping empire in the early 1800s. He can build my shipping emp….! Okay, okay, I’ll go have a lie down now.

 

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About the author

Kendra

Website

Kendra has been a fixture in the online costuming world since the late 1990s. Her website, Démodé Couture, is one of the most well-known online resources for historical costumers. In the summer of 2014, she published a book on 18th-century wig and hair styling. Kendra is a librarian at a university, specializing in history and fashion. She’s also an academic, with several articles on fashion history published in research journals.

5 Responses

  1. Stephani

    Um…. I just… wait give me a few minutes. Stunned by the sheer manliness and intensity.

    Loved him in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (mmm, monsieur tightpants) and there’s some Britishy organized crime-family show set variously in the ’80s and ’90s on Hulu that he’s in, but it’s pretty violent and I had to stop watching.
    Still. Let me gaze at his lovely manliness, in gorgeous period costume.

    Reply
  2. Sarah Lorraine

    I think Hardy is kinda meh. I dunno… Might be his lips. A little *too* sculpted and pouty. I do agree, however, he was TEH HOTNESS in Marie Antoinette.

    Men really need to bring back the frock coat and wig thing.

    Reply
  3. Katy

    Don’t forget Peaky Blinders! Super tough super cockney 1920s Jewish mob boss, it’s surprisingly really sexy.

    Reply

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